Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Baby bumps are EVERYWHERE!!!!!

So I don’t know about everyone else, but it seems like when people get pregnant it happens in groups. In the past 2 weeks I have seen 5 people announce that they are pregnant! Don’t get me wrong I am happy for them all but not going to lie, it kind of sucks for someone dealing with infertility. Of course we know the world doesn’t revolve around us and people are not going to put their lives on hold until we become pregnant and most women have no trouble getting pregnant but it’s still a bit of a jab. I always feel bad when I read that someone is expecting because the first thing I think is “COME ON! WTF!”……. crazy right, not a normal reaction but I can’t help it and again it’s not that I am not happy for them, it’s just…… I wanted it to be ME damn it LOL. I read that these thought’s and feeling are natural though, so that’s good and it says to not feel bad for feeling this way. As much as they say it’s okay I still kind of feel like a b*tch. But I know one day, I will finally be able to make that announcement.

What to expect when she's not expecting

I heard about this book for men called “What to expect when she's not expecting.”  It sounds like something that every man should read when he and his spouse are infertile.  Here is a link


It’s been a while since I have posted anything so I thought I would give an update. Josh and I have decided that we are going to try IVF, we are very excited but at the same time I am very nervous. IVF is a long process and is not guaranteed to  work, in fact our doctor told us to except it not to work, the chances for someone to only do one round of IVF and have it work are pretty low. And unfortunately I had an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago and they thought they saw more ovarian cysts but after another ultrasound they found that it is fluid in my fallopian tube, which I had in the fall with my left fallopian tube. This makes me nervous because they told us this decreases our chances of not only getting pregnant naturally but also with IVF. The fluid can leak into the uterus and affect implantation. Also we have to be careful because fertility meds can make the fluid buildup more; causing an infection (this is what happened last time). Needless to say this makes me a little scared, I am not trying to think in a negative way because I do have faith that it will work but I am a “what if” person and can’t help it. When we did our IUI, I was so positive and thought “this is it,” but sure enough not only did it NOT work but I became very ill. My body seems to be doing everything it can to prevent me from getting pregnant so hopefully IVF will be the answer to our prayers.