Friday, December 16, 2011


I have to address this because it is driving me crazy. Josh and I are not ready to do or even talk about using a surrogate, I had a hard enough time thinking about adoption let alone something that we are not wanting to do. I appreciate all the offers I get and believe me I get offers almost every day BUT we are just not wanting to do it. This may change in the future but as of right now I have not had a doctor say "you are just never going to be able to carry a baby," so until this happens we are closed off to the idea of using a surrogate. Again we appreciate the offers we are getting but I don't think a lot of people realize what goes into this. When you do surrogacy I still have to go through everything as if I was to do IVF and while I am doing that you would have to take hormone injections to prepare your body for a pregnancy and then they would transfer the embryo (hoping there is a good enough embryo to transfer) then it's a matter of if the embryo implanted or not, and just because you don't have fertility problems does NOT mean you will get pregnant, even if you have carried a child before there is still a chance that it won't work and most fertility doctors say to expect the first IVF cycle not to work (even for surrogacy), most of the time it takes 2 or 3 times. It's very emotional and time consuming for all people involved.

 I want to carry my own child and feel them kick and have my husband touch my belly to feel the baby move and until I am told that this is not ever going to happen then I will continue going through all the injections, blood work, ultrasounds, retrievals, transfers, heartbreak and tears to make my dream of being able to carry mine and Josh's child come true. If the time ever comes (which I hope it doesn't) where we have no other option but to use a surrogate I already know who I am going to use. Until this all happens we are going to continue with looking into adoption and looking for a new fertility doctor to help us get pregnant.
 Thanks everyone for the support :)

Friday, December 9, 2011

Our Next Step

Josh and I have decided that once we are all settled in our place that we are going to put in for adoption. We are still going to continue our fertility journey and find another doctor who will hopefully be able to help us get pregnant, we figure worse comes to worse we will end up with 2 babies and I don’t feel like that is a bad thing. We are going to adopt in the states and will hopefully have our adoption closed in a couple of years. I am VERY excited but also nervous because it is still an emotional roller coaster. I am still having a hard time excepting that we are not pregnant from our last IVF cycle but as time goes on I have been able to heal little by little. I can’t wait to finally be able to hold my own baby even if they are not biologically mine.  It will probably be a couple of months before my next update but wish us luck on our new journey as well as our continued fertility journey.