Friday, December 16, 2011


I have to address this because it is driving me crazy. Josh and I are not ready to do or even talk about using a surrogate, I had a hard enough time thinking about adoption let alone something that we are not wanting to do. I appreciate all the offers I get and believe me I get offers almost every day BUT we are just not wanting to do it. This may change in the future but as of right now I have not had a doctor say "you are just never going to be able to carry a baby," so until this happens we are closed off to the idea of using a surrogate. Again we appreciate the offers we are getting but I don't think a lot of people realize what goes into this. When you do surrogacy I still have to go through everything as if I was to do IVF and while I am doing that you would have to take hormone injections to prepare your body for a pregnancy and then they would transfer the embryo (hoping there is a good enough embryo to transfer) then it's a matter of if the embryo implanted or not, and just because you don't have fertility problems does NOT mean you will get pregnant, even if you have carried a child before there is still a chance that it won't work and most fertility doctors say to expect the first IVF cycle not to work (even for surrogacy), most of the time it takes 2 or 3 times. It's very emotional and time consuming for all people involved.

 I want to carry my own child and feel them kick and have my husband touch my belly to feel the baby move and until I am told that this is not ever going to happen then I will continue going through all the injections, blood work, ultrasounds, retrievals, transfers, heartbreak and tears to make my dream of being able to carry mine and Josh's child come true. If the time ever comes (which I hope it doesn't) where we have no other option but to use a surrogate I already know who I am going to use. Until this all happens we are going to continue with looking into adoption and looking for a new fertility doctor to help us get pregnant.
 Thanks everyone for the support :)


  1. wow, i have never read any of these until just now... Nothing i can say can make it better or make it work, but im here if you need a friend or just to vent :)......

  2. Shawna and I discussed that a few weeks ago, but it is clearly a huge decision to make, and you clearly aren't taking any life choices lightly at this point. I totally understand your decision, and I want you to know we are here for you both. I think your openness to adoption is a great thing, and we are really pulling for you guys to have some success in the fertility department. We both miss you guys and can't wait to see you next.

  3. Thanks Nikkia.

    Steve- We love you guys for even discussing it and I love everyone who offers. It is a hard decision and to some it might be easy but my desire to carry a child is so great that I don't want to be jealous of my friend or family member, even though what they are doing is such a wonderful gift, I feel surrogacy would make me feel like I gave up and I am not ready to have any of those feelings. We miss and love you and Shawna so much and thank you for being such great friends. Hopefully we can all get together soon :)