Monday, March 28, 2011

That Old Familiar Feeling

So Josh and I are looking into doing IVF this summer, Dr. H wants my body to heal a little bit more before we jump into it so we have to try on our own (or with meds) until then so we tried this month, and guess what showed up 5 days early? My so called monthly gift!  October was the last time I felt this heart wrenching pain and I did not miss it at all. The first day is always the worst and as the days go by you start planning for next month, but UHG!!!  I hate this first day, I cry and sleep and cry some more, and yes it is easy to say “well we have next month”  but next month turns into the next month and then the next month and before you know it, it’s been a year… is VERY frustrating. And no matter what anyone says which are normally “it will happen,” “everything happens for a reason,” “Just relax,” “stop trying so hard,”  “keep praying,” “God has a plan for you,” it NEVER helps and ends up making me even more frustrated. This month would have been perfect too, because I would have been due in December (which is a special month in my family), and Josh gets out of the Navy at the end of December so we would still have insurance. But noooooo, nothing ever goes the way we would like them too!                 Okay,  I am done with my bitching.

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